Time-Space Compression On Set

How do you work six days of work over five days? Easy - Do what I did this week.

I was recalled on the regular gig today; only three union backgrounders waiting around for hours and hours. The call sheet indicated that we would be working most scenes, and the key 2nd AD told one of us, "Hope you brought a book."

But, as things happen, they changed the shooting shedule and wrapped us early, just in time to fight rush hour traffic through Los Angeles. Bleh.

And it was on the way back that I got a call from the big casting agency, "Hey, we'd like to know where you are since you are booked to be on show X at this hour." "Woah!" was my reaction, since I had been recalled for show Y that day.

A recalled background actor, you see, takes the highest precedence: If you are established in a scene, and they need to shoot an additional day, casting directors can pull you off other shows, even if booked long in advance, so as not to ruin the continuity of a scene. It's one of the golden rules of the business.

Problem is, the agency recalled on one show, but forgot to take me off the skins (i.e., background actor rosters) on the other show. Whoops! Not my mistake, thank goodness.

Since I was en route home, I said I could work this other show, even with the traffic and a wardrobe bag packed for formal clothes - not what was requested on this gig. "Perfect," he said, and so I turned around and headed back to the westside of LA.

So, I show up "technically" two hours late, but the AD informs me he heard all about it from the CD, so I'm off the hook. In fact, I'm they guy who looks good, since they didn't have to put out a rush call to fill the slot.

And what would that be? Well, it was a four-camera show, so today was rehearsal day, and I'm recalled for the live audience shoot tomorrow. Quick stuff, a simple cross, to be done on tape in front of an audience. Not even close to eight hours either today, or tomorrow.

But, according to union and non-union rules, you get your eight hours mininum in anyway.

Ergo, I'm looking at two full-day union pay vouchers for one hectic day of driving and waiting.

Late Night, Early Morning

So, the regular gig finally pays off. Worked 12 1/2 hours with wardrobe changes and meal penalties. Many reading this little corner-of-cyberspace blog would hate to work such long hours, but that's what background actors hope for: it's all about the penalties and overtime which can turn one day's work into two, or three day's pay.

Then the agency calls, "You're booked on a four-camera show tomorrow."

A different casting director who hasn't worked with me much. Nice, a good chance to get some feeback to him.

Perfect, that means a day of quick rehearsals, and one day shooting in front of a live studio audience (preceded, as some of you know, by an early-evening freebie bing at the commisary - it's tradition).

Then, a few hours later, another call, "You're recalled on XXXX, per the casting director."

OK, change is the norm in this business. But then I learn that only three backgrounders are recalled - lots of camera time, but a quick turnabout after trying to wash laundry to match clothes for two days of shoots this week.

So, the CD likes us, the 2nd 2nd AD likes us. Feel free to do so until the paychecks pan out.

Never A Quick Exit....

Rats...

I had a good day on set, a lengthy drive to and from a location shot, went to the gym for a hard two hour workout, then set down to write my previous post and watch some of the premieres, including "Smith," where I worked the wedding reception scene last spring.

Then, the phone rings...

"Hi Stephen, this is xxxx Casting, your call time has been pulled by one half hour tomorrow morning - early."

Yeah, it's 10:00 PM, and that's a relatively early call, thank goodness. Typically, they'll call in the early AM, just in time to disturb you quality-time sleep.

Pushes (meaning later call times), they don't care about, but earlier times, yes. The worst are features (i.e., films) where a call time might be pushed by three to four hours. When you get that call, start driving to set, because they will inevitably ring one to two hours before the new call time with an, "Get to set ASAP!" call.

This means you rush through check-in, wardrobe, then pour yourself a nice cup of coffee because you're going to wait for three to four hours before they actually shoot. But, hey, you're still getting pay.

So, much as in the previous post, learn to be flexible in this biz, otherwise you will be a deflated tennis ball, wacked to and fro across the net.

Welcome to the movie and TV business.

Being Flexible

There are certain adages in this business which help you negotiate the craziness and keep your brain cells intact.

The first is, "you never actually watch the shows you work on, you just collect a paycheck."

How true.

You can tell a newbie backgrounder by the frisson they exhibit when walking on set, "Oh my God! I can't believe I'm working with so-and-so," etc.

They are actually excited about doing crosses behing a big A-lister.

Give me a break.

I've worked long enough now in this industry not to be impressed by that stuff. In the real world, you can tell a backgrounder vet by the following:

1. They want to to know if the crew is good.
2. They want to to know if this gig will get them loads of overtime.
3. They want to know if crafty is noteworthy.

I'm having a wacky week, so pardon the crazy post. First, I go to my season-regular gig on Monday. Wardrobe asks for two complete clothing changes (that's two pay bumps), which also means overtime. After a morning of face-on hero shots with the 1st team, we had lunch, then got the word - "you're all wrapped." Crikey! Where did the OT go?!

No matter, spent valuable time today on a stand-in gig on a yet-to-be-released show with A-listers: Four hours of work for eight hours of pay with mileage and saw a bunch of fellow stand-ins and production friends. It was a nice reunion.

Then, I get the call: You're booked on the season-regular gig for tomorrow with another wardrobe change! Go figure. I'll let you know how it turned out.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Last week was great - a full four days with overtime on two gigs (one is a regular - I'm on almost every episode for the season, the other was new).

And being back on a soundstage was a nice bonus. See, just before the holiday weekend, I did a location shoot out near Palmdale. It was sunny, and over 100 degrees, which isn't bad in and of itself, but when you're the featured person that day, playing with kids, lifting stuff, it makes a difference.

Of course, since we were all sweltering in the dry heat, this episode takes place in Arizona, at Christmas time. Lots of heavy coats, boots, hats, etc. Everything to part you from the water you need to survive as a biological entity. One BG had a tire blow out in the heat, and my old car needed the resevoir filled when I got back home.

So, the soundstage sounded like a really nice change, until I got to the second gig of the week. Our holding was directly underneath a large, meanacing, HVAC duct, spilling out cold air on top of us. The second day, most of arrived wearing wintercoats at the studio gate, which made for a few strange looks. Late that night, some of us were noshing at crafty when one of the principals notice our out-of-season garb. "Hey? You guys cold or something?"

Yeah, another tale from a background warrior. At this rate, I'll be happy to report on an "average" temp on set

Standoff

Fox aired the premiere of Standoff last night, and I was watching, but this time, not just for myself. When we shot this back in March, I was pulled out by the technical advisor and placed near the command tent with the backgrounders portraying FBI technicians. While waiting for the next shot, one guy approached and said, "Hey Steve, remember me?"

It was one of my high school classmates, who does background work on a part-time basis.

And that's how weird the business can be at times, if not most of the time.

The other interesting factoid about Standoff (originally called Primary when filming the pilot) is the opening scene. It took place on 7th Street in downtown Los Angeles near the 110 Freeway. We shut down a whole city block and dealt with pedestrians and curious on-lookers while rolling. Such is the case for location shots.

At one point, a semi-deluded homeless man kept screaming at the crew from the next block (now, this isn't particularly strange or unusual - the homeless in downtown LA tend to scream a lot, especially at film crews). The director, Tim Story, kept looking up the block, along with the other crew members in video village. I thought he was going to send someone to quiet the guy up, but instead he told the others, "No, no... I'm just interested in what the guy is trying to say.

Recalled on one of my regular gigs for later today.

A Week in the Life

Nothing is more pathetic, or typical, of LA than an actor helping another actor move boxes when one has a truck. And that was how I spent a couple days this past week when not on set. Hence, the lack of posts to the literally dozens of you who tune into this blog from time to time.

What's a working actor's life like during the week? Well, one day I worked a nice gig on location: great crew, good PA's, excellent catering (always important). But it just so happened that I was staggered in with a bunch of non-unioners who gawked at my union voucher (the PA had to run to the truck to get mine - I was the sole one at the midday call). The result? Hours of "How did you...," "How can I...," "What recommendations can you give..." and so on.

Another day: Rushed to make a interview for a featured role with the 1st AD of the show. I arrive after battling traffic, changing shirts, and trying to make my tie look sharp in 100 degree heat. Upon arrival I heard, "Oh yeah, the interview. Umm, they changed the script on me. We don't need you this episode, but maybe....." followed by an inquisitive look. Anyone who's survived an audition (which could fill an army), know this was the moment to sell yourself. I tried, we'll see, and I'll keep you all informed.

Then, near the end of the week, had a call out in the desert. I arrived early, grabed some breakfast off the truck, and checked-in. Turns out this was a nice featured role for a popular cable show just starting the new shoots for the season* (won't say which, read disclaimer below). However, it involved a family scene with a Christmas tree, heavy parkas, and couple of lively boys portraying my kids. Try lifting kids on film for 3+ hours in 103 degree heat in a parka and you will know what dehydration feels like. Did a half-day of work, paid for a full eight hours (union rules), plus mileage and a car bump. Not too bad, given that I beat the weekend traffic back into LA.

Lastly, it's nice to turn on the tube and get a nice surpise, when it's not your face on screen. The battle over the California propositions has just started, but it's paid off for at least one fellow actor. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the tube this weekend and saw a "typical California voter" outlining reasons against one particular proposition - surprised because the last time we worked together was a recent gig as stand-ins on a yet-to-be-released pilot with a roster of A-listers. She was preping for an audition in the morning, and I was watching the hours tick away towards 3:00 AM, knowing that I had a 7:00 AM call time at another studio, and wondering if I was going to get any sleep that night (I did - two full hours). Clearly, she got the part! By the way, if you are shocked that political ads use union actors to depict voters, my recommendation is: Time to wake up, smell the coffee, grow up, and get a life!

* As a rule, I don't announce which shows I've been on until they have fully aired. There are a couple reasons. First, as a professional actor you are involved in production - story lines change and information to which you are privy might not want to be released by the studio. Once they have done so, then it's public. Two, even the choicest featured role sometimes gets left on the cutting room floor. You never really know if the footage they took will be included until the darn thing is aired on the tube, or released on screen.

Workin' Hard

I know I'm not the most compulsive blogger in the world, but my laptop's OS went AWOL this week, and I'm waiting for the disks to come in so I can be fully connected again. I'm borrowing a sibling's Mac for this post, which makes me feel like driving on the other side off the road.

The other reason for the delay in posting is, well, work, and lots of it. I'm starting a couple shows as a regular and recently completed standing in for a couple week for an A-lister. The turnarounds have been tight - last week I had one gig wrap at 2:30 AM only to be booked at another studio at 7:30 AM. Ouch is the operative word.

Working full-time like this is what background performers wish and hope for, and ironically is one of of the arguments against going union (i.e., joining SAG): With fewer union slots, albeit for higher pay and benefits, union roles are harder to get.

And this is what a friend of mine ran into several weeks ago. He earned his fourth SAG voucher and is therefore a "must join" background performer, if he wants to continue to receive SAG vouchers. Since he's been working for that moment for well over half a year, it was a happy day. That is, until one of the malcontents in holding cried out, "Don't join - you'll never work again!"

Upon hearing that, several of us wheeled around and announced that we had our busiest hiatus in years, much to this fellow's surprise. It's a common complaint heard on sets. I worked with one woman last week who hasn't worked since May.

Now, that is a surprise. But, when you pry deeper, you begin to pick out a few facts.

First and foremost: Acting is a business. You must sell yourself. You must get a good reputation among the casting directors and - most importantly - they have to know you are! A lot, probably most of the "complainers" I meet have never met the casting directors that book them, nor written them letters, thank you notes, or updates from the set. They don't make an effort to know the production team on set. And even with excellent training and looks, it takes a bit more to get steady work.

Think about it. If this were any other business, say sales, you wouldn't get much of an income by waiting for the phone to ring.

Just my two pennies off a borrowed iBook and the neighbor's WiFi.

Going, Going, Gone Hollywood

So much for the field of education and research – all that grad school, dead-end teaching and part-time managerial stuff. Some of those close to this site know by now that the former Happy Valley College elected to go with another Director of Assessment Services with no previous ties to the college while I was toiling away in the office, leaving me to do…what?

Well, for some time now I’ve had another part-time job which is now a full-time gig with income, pension contributions, and health benefits. Friends of TAA, such as Todd, have already “outed” me.

But not that type of “outed” you’re thinking of.

See, my part-time work was working as a background actor in television and film.

A lot of aspiring actors eschew the background route – they consider it demeaning, not worthy of their talents and training, nothing more than an amorphous face in the crowd.

And a lot of these same people aren’t members of the Screen Actors Guild, and won’t be for a while with that attitude.

On the other hand, if you are serious, and responsible, strange things can happen. Almost every day player and freelancer I’ve spoken with has said, “Oh yeah, I started out doing background, it got me into the union and helped me get my first few breaks.”

And that’s what happened with me, not just the SAG card, but more than a few featured roles. And after a while I started getting the phone calls, “Stephen, you’ve been photo selected by the director,” and offers of print jobs, and the voicemail numbers of casting directors who said, “If you want to work tomorrow, just drop me a line.”

Sometime you do just do crosses in front of the camera, and then, sometimes, you get the hero shot – like wrestling Eva Longoria on Desperate Housewives last season (I was the cop who took away Gabby’s adopted baby and drove off with the birth parents). And, if you’re union, the offers start rolling in: such as working as a stand-in, or a getting a stint as a regular on a returning series (guaranteed three to four days of work per episode).

So, what’s up for the future of this site?

As a professionally trained anthropologist, I approach most social settings with an eye to social organization and cultural frames that people use to categorize and negotiate their social universe.

That’s precisely what I did when I first landed on set – to me, it’s one big research project that never ends being interesting. Most people envision “Hollywood” as the product they see on a screen or DVD, or an abstract entity pushed by PR types on the nightly celebrity news shows. To me, the minutiae of daily life on the set is what’s interesting. Take a peek at Peggy Archer's blog on being a crew member in this town for one such view.

For me, however, it’s about being that face in the crowd, and sometimes that face you see clearly on the tube.

So, from time to time I’ll provide you all with some good stories from the set, personal notions (or rants) about what makes a good/bad background actor, and decorum in general, in a classic ethnographic sense, or at least a good story.

Stay tuned….

Changes Coming... Stay Tuned

Yes, after a long hiatus, the Angry Anthro will soon be back online. The career trajectory took a weird, unforseen angle, albeit one that is highly entertaining (those of you in the know will forgive the joke). So, stay tuned and check back periodically, if only for the copious links to your right.

Hollywood Reality, Hollywood Gloss

Yeah, yeah, the whole world is anxiously awaiting Sunday's Oscar bash, or the day-before antipodal Independent Spirit Awards, but if you really want to learn about what's going on in Hollywood, skip the glossy, front-page of the daily paper, and take a look back in the Business Section of today's LA Times:

For 18 years, Mark Karen has worked behind the camera, carefully framing shots on movies and television shows from "Titanic" to "Star Trek: Voyager."

But the 45-year-old Los Angeles resident sees a bleak picture of his own future.

The reason: a proposed contract change that for the first time would remove a requirement that camera operators like Karen be used on feature films. Instead, the new contract would allow directors of photography, commonly known as "DPs," to operate cameras on features and episodic television shows.

The seemingly innocuous concession — contained in a draft contract for Hollywood's so-called below-the-line workers — has roiled the ranks of camera operators, who have worked hand in glove with DPs since the days of talkies."

It means I'm going to be out of a career," Karen predicted.

What the?....

Some mornings - most mornings in fact - are horribly quotidian: Same breakfast foods, same coffee, same egotisitical nut asking you for your morning paper, then complaining when you refuse (see previous post).

And then, occassionally, out of the blue, you open the paper and are given the wake-up call. That happened today when I read this:

A False Note to the New Year in Pasadena

A lawsuit contends that school officials tried to cover up importing musicians to march in the city district's band in the 2006 Rose Parade.

By Bob Pool, Times Staff WriterMarch 1, 2006

Did a group of ringers secretly ring in the new year at Pasadena's 2006 Rose Parade?

The answer is yes. But that hasn't resolved a lawsuit over whether officials at the Pasadena Unified School District tried to cover up what they did.

And then this:

Amid growing criticism, the executive producer of KTLA-TV's "Morning News" defended the show's decision last week to accept free accommodations in exchange for broadcasting its morning program from the newly renovated Ritz-Carlton Huntington Hotel & Spa in Pasadena.

And finally, this item:

A Chinese dissident facing felony charges that could have led to his deportation pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor and was released Tuesday, a Los Angeles County official said.

Zhang Hongbao, the leader of a Chinese spiritual group with an estimated following of 30 million, had been accused of five felony counts related to the alleged beating of his housekeeper in his Pasadena home in 2003.

So much for the boring news from a little city in the foothills of the San Gabriel Valley.

Hands Off My Morning Paper!

Back in the pundit saddle, albeit on a part-time basis.

For those of you who – amazingly – still find your way through the cybersphere to this crass corner of complaints, thank you for visiting. I’ve had a few unexpected turns in recent months (mostly for the better), and will update you all in the near future. Basically, I’m looking at a complicated fork in the proverbial road, and have to choose which of the many tines I’m going to continue on for years to come. No doubt, many of you have experienced the same thing.

But, to get back into form, my rant du jour centers on coffee house etiquette. To be brutally honest, I need and covet my morning caffeine. To that end, I hang out with a bunch of regulars at Peets in Pasadena (Starbucks sucks, but is a necessary evil when conditions warrant), and have done so for years.

Now, I’m a plain coffee type of guy, so I can’t imagine spending $4.50 on a latte with more flavors and calories than most milkshakes. But, if you’re going to spend that much, don’t you think you could spend an additional 50 cents on the damn paper?!

See, my friends joke that no matter where I am sitting, or doing, someone will invariably approach and try to take my LA Times paper away from me, as if I’m the communal paper basket. This happens at all times of the day, and even outside (one time, a guy came off the sidewalk while I’m still reading a section and asked, “Hey guy, you done with the paper yet?”). They’ll even try to yank out a section from under my seat, with my foot on it! (And it happened again this morning.)

Who knows why this happens – I think it’s akin to what the British writer Toby Young calls his, “negative charisma,” when he enters a room, people immediately hate him before they know anything about him. Somehow, I must have the look of, “Take my paper – please….”

My jaded advice: Peets isn’t the Union Rescue Mission. If you there to buy the expensive coffee and more-than-expensive snacks, you can reach down into your pockets and shell out an additional two quarters. Get the damn paper yourself.

Another Pasadena Passing....

FYI, reknown Pasadena-born science fiction-writer Octavia Butler has died.

From the front page of today's Pasadena Star News:

PASADENA - Octavia Butler, the Pasadena native who was one of the nation's leading science-fiction writers and whose first novel, "Kindred," is Pasadena's 2006 One City, One Story book selection, died Friday. She was 58.

Butler died after falling and striking her head on the cobbled walkway outside her home in the north Seattle suburb of Lake Forest Park.

Fowl Most Fresh

On the Eve of Turkey Day many cash-stuffed folk will turn their thoughts, and forks, to their favorite festive bird - usually one that is fully dressed, shrink-wrapped, and frozen to Kelvin scale depths. For the more upscale, there are heirloom birds, such as those reported in this week's LA Weekly by Jonathan Gold.

But, for the more adventuresome, the LA Times gave morning readers a nice shock with a report on a thriving slaughterhouse serving a mostly immigrant clientele, who prefer to pick and choose from the winged offerings. Five minutes from pen to plastic bag - try that at a Honey Baked Ham store tonight! And for those of you getting squeamish, remember I ate bugs during my fieldwork. Get over it. Besides, the old Angelino families remember when Sunday dinner required killing a chicken from the coop - my father did that most of his childhood life in Pomona. Now a days you only get to count the chickens riding the Gold Line to Union Station.

Before you take a bite of the chemically-enriched Butterball tomorrow, take a peek at the article. Too bad it wasn't included in the Times Food section, something about advertising revenue....

But if you won't read it for the ethnographic background, read it for the honed rhetoric like this:

Today, Samy Morsy is so deft with his 12-inch chef knife that it seems that he could turn a turkey into a hood ornament if he were asked to.

Soon coming to a fashionable vehicle near you.

The Need and the Loathing

It's late on a Friday aftenoon, the college has gone to bed before the sun is down, and I'm not going to let Warren, David, Joel, Kira, and the others have all the fun with a little Google-magic (all the better to procrastinate and put off finishing another scene).

Here are some results for "Formosus needs" in Google:

The disinterred corpose of Pope Formosus (891-894) was brought before the...

Phosphorous needs of some Australian Plants. Swainsona, canescens, colutoides, formosus, tephrotricha...

Joseph, Ras, Neal, and Formosus. Chris, Trish, and Andie... (Wait a minute! That's from Warren's site - and he suggested this excercise. Hmmm...)

Red Cone Flower (lsopogon formosus): see it and grow it...

Scientific name: Oporornis formosus...

When switched off, the Scleropages Formsous are not moving at all of course...

The main plot deals with the trick of Formosus to obtain 3000 crowns from his miserly father Amadeus...

Dances with Screenwriters

Spent last weekend nursing a lingering cough, and attending the 4th Annual Screenwriting Expo, sponsored by Creative Screenwriting magazine. It was my first time attending and it was rather surprising to be amidst almost 4,000 writers, but then I was surprised to be among 5,000 anthropologists the first time I attended the AAA gathering. Lots of sights, lots of people, and even more stories, which usually constitute the most informative aspect of conventions, and the most entertaining.

Like other writing get-togethers, the Expo was a great venue for the usually solitary to get support, learn that there are actually other people out there who are just as geeky as you think you are, and commiserate with fellow writers over rejection - preferably with an 80 proof libation in hand.

I attended some classes, a panel or two, and many of the Guest of Honor sessions, but more about that later. As I was walking around the trade show, scanning through the xeroxed detritus strewn over abandoned tables, I had this lingering thought....

Am I the only one who thinks that the market for writing products and services is strangely similiar to the market for sex products and services? There are hundreds of companies offering magazines, videos, and "coverage or feedback" (usually in the back of cheap magazines) offering “secrets” (for a price) that purport to make you a "better practitioner," allowing you to "write longer, better, with more passion, all leading to a strong finish." The place was rife with psychoanalytic subtext. But then, after too many years of graduate school I can never look at any social gathering without some weird theoretical interpretation.

If you want to glance at some photos, take a peek at the collection from Warren, Joel, and Shawna.

Instead of the rundown of classes and panels, here are some of the more colorful quotes I heart at Expo 4:

William Goldman: “What I want you to come away from this Expo is this – All critics are failures and whores.”

David Koepp: “Everyone in this business has to be told what to do, directors, actors, so on, except for the writer. We can go home tonight, open a new file on our computer and start to work on a new project – no one has to tell us to do it. And that’s why they hate us.”

Marc & Elaine Zicree: “If you hear the following: ‘Thanks for coming in’, ‘Interesting…’, or ‘Call my agent’, you’re toast.” On the other hand, “If they say, ‘Who’s your agent?’ they want your script.”

Richard Walter: (quoting someone else) “It is actions that define character, and not the other way around.”

Richard Walter: (again) “There are only two things in scripts: The stuff that’s seen – the wide margins; and the stuff that’s said – the narrow margins.”

David Freeman: “I wasn’t born with an Earth Mother gene…”

But the best was probably at the blogger rendezvous Sunday night: “Yes, I was a Pumpkin Princess” from Shawna.

Carrots Without the Sticks

Buried in the back pages of today's LA Times is a gem of an article highlighting the questionable empirical evidence for economic enterprise zones, which have lately been touted by W. as a response to the aftermath of Katrina.

Call me an old-line positivist, but for something to have effectively changed, beyond normal variation, the data must support the evidence. Take a read:

Over the last 10 years, the federal government has chartered 40 empowerment zones and 40 renewal communities, both of which offer tax breaks to qualifying businesses. One is in Los Angeles. Another covers a portion of New Orleans.

In addition to the federal areas, many states and cities have their own enterprise zone programs.

Over the years, economists have attempted to measure the effectiveness of the zones. Some studies have found statistical evidence of higher rates of economic growth and job creation. Others have not. Several analysts who reviewed past research have told Congress the overall results are inconclusive.

When asked for empirical evidence that enterprise zones work, the White House and the Treasury Department cited a 2001 study by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, which oversees the federal programs.

HUD looked at the first six urban zones established during the Clinton administration. They were in Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit, New York and Philadelphia.

Of the six, four experienced greater job growth than comparable areas where the special benefits were not available, the HUD study said, and owners reported that the climate for doing business had improved.

But two zones fared worse than comparable areas, and 65% of businesses in the six areas reported no benefit from being in empowerment zones. In addition, few firms took advantage of the tax credits, and more than half of those that used them said they were of little or no importance in hiring or investing decisions.

HUD said it was unable to reach conclusions about the effectiveness of the zones.

Bad Food is Universal

Anthropologists disagree vehemently about the extent of human cultural universals, but for the cynics in the crowd two items are head and shoulders above the rest: utter stupidity and really bad food.

Another Column One example of Pulitzer-level reportage today from the LA Times strikes yet another blow to globalization of food trends. Target, this time - Mexico - and the food, Japanese instant noodles:

That's a brand of instant ramen noodles that to him means lunch. Leon's grandmother stocks them in her tiny grocery store in this hamlet 40 miles southwest of the capital. The preschooler prefers his shrimp-flavor ramen with a dollop of liquid heat.

"With salsa!" he said exuberantly at the mention of his favorite noodle soup.

Through the centuries, Moorish spices, French pastries and Spanish citrus have left lasting impressions on Mexico's cuisine. Now Japanese fast-food noodles, first imported here in the 1980s, are filling pantries across the country.

Time-pressed school kids, construction workers and office drones have helped turn Mexicans into Latin America's largest per-capita consumers of instant ramen. Diners here slurped down 1 billion servings last year, up threefold since 1999, according to a Japanese noodle association.

My worst food experiences in Mexico were tacos made with roasted grasshoppers and dried, salted tripe wrapped in a tortilla, but hey - those were at least authentic.

I hope the Times continues to give front-page coverage to food articles banned from the haute cuisine afficionados in the Food Sections on Wednesdays. A week ago, the World section also reported on the popularity of Spam gift baskets in Korea (Oct. 15 - go check it out if you can get past the registration barricade).

Morning Reading Fun

Angelinos love their cars, and more literate Angelinos (the few, the proud) are turning to Dan Neil's weekly auto review in the LA times. A past Pulitzer-prize winner, Neil combines the best of over-the-top sports rhetoric with a few witty Chandlerisms in most of his columns.

Today's piece on the new Mazda Miata MX-5 was particularly enoyable. For those of you who don't regularly get a chance to read amusing columns with the morning coffee, here are some choice excerpts:

MAZDA Miata, how do I love thee? Let me count the days.

Um, two
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From its fiercely flatulent dual-exhaust note and buzzy metabolism to its stunt-kite agility, the MX-5 is all about sensory involvement.

Which is great, absolutely brilliant, two days a week, when the MX-5 can find the empty onramps and lightly patrolled canyon roads to practice its unique brand of necromancy. Weekdays, though, this car is a rolling root canal.
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It doesn't help that the car's final-drive ratio is 4.10:1 and that peak torque (140 pound-feet) resides at 5,000 rpm. Put it all together and you have a car that is screaming bloody jihad at 25 mph if you don't shift into second gear.
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The MX-5 is the sort of car for which two-car garages were made.
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The central console, shaped like one end of a snowboard, holds the fuss-free climate and audio panels. Most notable is the band of shiny black plastic — "piano black" only if your piano is made by Mattel — which, unless I'm mistaken, is the same material that appears in the Ford Fusion (Mazda is a corporate holding of the Ford Motor Co.).
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But the car lives for cornering forces. Once it finds its posture, the MX-5 clings to a white line like Kate Moss.
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It's not easy to sap the joy out of a car like this — this artful dodger, this blithe spirit — but somehow, Los Angeles manages.

Stuff like this makes waking up fun.