Food Firsts to Food Worsts

The LAT gives a big "thumbs down" to the worst foods of 2004:

Jalapeño peanut butter in a tube: Who could resist? PB n' Go portable peanut butter comes in two other disgusting flavors, Cinnamon Surprise and Carmel-Caramel crunch. This must make Mr. Peanut sad.

Blue 'Jell-O' shots: "Gather a group of fun, adventurous adults," says the bottle, "place them in a happening social scene" and feed them gelatinous alcohol. Wet Willy's Edible Drink is a batch of 24-proof, single-serving "adult gelatin cocktails" that you chill to turn into bright-yellow or screaming-blue wiggly booze cubes. Sure to be a hit at your next tailgate party or hazing ritual.

The un-gin: If you like gin but hate juniper, drink vodka. Or pick up a bottle of Damrak gin. Its makers have tweaked the recipe, amplifying the flavors of lemon, orange and coriander and cutting back the juniper, the thing that makes gin gin. No surprise that they're selling it as "the new vodka."

Pet food that you'll love to eat too: Liv-a-Littles dog treats are made with ingredients approved for human consumption, says the news release, as "a low-carb snack that you and your pup can chew on." At last, dog breath can be yours. And only $8.99 for 3 ounces.

Hummus also-ran: At the Kosherfest trade show in October, Mediterranean food-maker Sabra hired a professional sand sculptor to mold busts of Sen. John Kerry and President Bush entirely out of hummus. OK, but can you make Rumsfeld out of baba ghanouj?

Strawberry daiquiri-to-go: Lt. Blender's Strawberry Daiquiri in a Bag directs you to pour in booze to the line indicated, shake to mix it up with the powdered fruity stuff in there, add water, freeze and squeeze yourself some alcoholic slush. It's like Good Seasons salad dressing mix for the frozen-margarita set, packaged up in a garish plastic bota bag.

Designer ice: Now we know why Tom Ford left Gucci, the Italian fashion house he once helped resurrect from death-by-logo-overexposure: Gucci ice cube trays. The $60 set of two rubber trays pops out G-logo ice — the perfect thing to chill down the un-gin.

Herb paste in a tube: Tired of that fresh taste of just-snipped herbs? Try Gourmet Garden lemon grass herb blend in a tube. Augmented with sunflower oil, dextrose, whey, sodium lactate, glycerin, fructose, lactose, salt, sodium ascorbate, citric acid and xanthan gum, it nevertheless "must be kept refrigerated," according to the label.

Slow Cooker Helper pot roast flavor: Just "add beef roast." "Real vegetables included." Need we say more?